12+  I'm not anti-woke, but the interview line-up in reception for the call centre job looks like your typical twenty-first-century checklist to ensure unsuccessful applicants can't sue the company for discrimination.

For a start, the six serious candidates, a mix of twenty and thirty-somethings, are split fifty-fifty between males and females, with a man of colour and an Asian woman. I'm the last in line after the token senior, "Grandpa", who can't be a serious candidate. Tick, tick, tick goes the inclusivity checklist and our interview countdown.

"My name's Tom," Grandpa interrupts my musing.

"Marcus," I reply, wishing I'd left my earbuds in.

"A good name," Grandpa says. "Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor."

"Oh, I didn't know that," I respond, hands twitching to reach into my pocket for my earbuds. 

"My granddaughter is named after a Roman goddess, Juno," Grandpa continues his history lesson.

"That's interesting," I say, hoping he'll note my disinterested tone. 

"There are lots of people here today," Grandpa switches subjects, though I wish he'd switch off. "I don't know much about call centres. Do you?"

"Ah, yes," I confirm, reflecting on the ridiculousness of the company interviewing someone who obviously has no qualifications for the role. Maybe I am anti-woke.

"My granddaughter, Juno, is across these things," Grandpa adds. "She's always been a whiz-kid, fixing TVs, computers and other stuff for me."

"That's nice," I say, glancing past his shoulder. The first four seats are now empty. Next in line is the Asian woman, followed by Grandpa, who won't last long in the interview. I start practising questions and answers in my head.

"My mobile phone, for instance," Grandpa interrupts my thoughts again, pulling out his phone. "I keep locking myself out, but Juno unlocks it for me."

"She must know your password," I respond, failing to mask a condescending edge.

"Oh no, Juno's just very clever."

"Then she's probably added her biometrics to your phone's security."

"Her whats?"

"Her biometrics, like her fingerprints or facial or retina scan," I reply, feeling more frustrated that, like the company, I'm wasting time talking technology with Grandpa.

"No, I don't think so," he assures me, "she just knows how to unlock phones."

"That's impossible," I retort, louder than I'd intended. Thankfully, the Asian woman's seat is vacant, and no one's left to witness my exasperation with Grandpa. I take a calming breath and explain, "These phones have the highest level of security. The CIA can't unlock them, so your granddaughter must have your password or added her biometrics." Grandpa looked confused. "Her fingerprint or something!"

"Yes, that must be it," he says, oblivious to my outburst. "Juno is very clever."

The interview room door opens. "Well, good luck, Marcus," Grandpa says, remaining seated.

"Um, it's your turn, Tom," I sigh.

"Oh, I'm not here for the job interview," he laughs. "I've come to see my granddaughter, Juno. She runs the call centre. But thanks for your tips about the bio-whats-its. I'll mention you when she unlocks my phone."

© 2024 Robert Fairhead

Thanks to LeoPictures for sharing the image of the empty waiting room chairs on Pixabay.

I wrote The Interview (originally titled "I'm Not Anti-Woke But") for the Australian Writers' Centre's September 2024 Furious Fiction writing challenge. Unlike their usual monthly challenges, the brief was simple and visual:

Use the photo image in the brief of seven people sitting in what could be a waiting room as inspiration to tell your story.

Several things stood out for me when I looked at the photo:

1. Of the seven people, "Grandpa" was significantly older than the other twenty and thirty-somethings.
2. There was an even split of males and females among the six younger people.
3. There was one male of colour and an Asian woman.
4. All the people, including "Grandpa", had their hands folded on their laps except for a nerdy-looking bespectacled male sitting at the end beside "Grandpa", with his hands hanging at his sides (as if twitching to put his hands in his pockets).

I took "literal" inspiration from the composition of the photo and my observations to set my story in a job interview waiting room, narrated by the nerdy-looking Marcus. While he claims he's not anti-woke, Marcus dismisses the "inclusivity checklist" candidates, especially the "token senior". 

Of course, it's "Grandpa", or Tom, who engages with Marcus. He initially irritates Marcus but eventually reveals a more pleasant and polite side of his character, sighing when Grandpa remains seated and saying, "Um, it's your turn, Tom." Thanks to Athena Law (@TweetsByAthena on Twitter/X) for suggesting this subtle change!  

I hope you enjoyed your time in the interview waiting room with Marcus and Tom. The September Furious Fiction judges didn't showcase or longlist my story, but I loved writing and sharing it with Athena and Richard Gibney (@ragtaggiggagon on Twitter/X). Both asked whether Marcus got the call centre job.

"I don't know," I replied. "Perhaps Grandpa Tom's favourable mention of Marcus helped? I'll leave that for Juno and the reader to decide." 

N.B. Unlike this year's entry, last September's Furious Fiction, My Speech, made the showcase with chest-swelling feedback from the judges. And I recently narrated it as Episode 99 of my Tall And True Short Reads podcast.